I just saw this comment from “Mom on strike” and had to reply in a post:
"I NEED HELP with my two boys 15 and 17, my husband-51 and my mom, none of them will do anything or help me in any way. I don’t get it. Our daughter who is 20 is very neat. She will purge her room etc two times a year. Now she is in college and is very neat. What happened!! What can I do.
Oh Amy, I sympathize! My advice? You have the right idea – strike! That's what it took for me.
When I went back to work 4 years ago, I was overwhelmed! I was used to being home taking care of all the household chores and I found myself trying to accomplish everything without a lot of help. It’s not that everyone was refusing, it’s just that new habits had to be formed. It seemed, though, that I did a lot of nagging and badgering to get any help, though, and none of us were happy.
I finally got so tired of fighting it, I just stopped. I stopped cooking, cleaning, doing any laundry but my own. And I threw out lots of comments like "Aren't you embarrassed when your friends see the house like this?" Granted, you have to squelch your own embarrassment at the nastiness around you for a while, but it’s working. (And 15 and 17 are not too old to hold back privileges until the work is done.)
Anthony Browne has written a book called “Piggybook”. It’s a kid’s story, but it’s a hilarious read! Of course, no one in my house appreciates it but me.
You can leave it on the coffee table as a big hint. And if all else fails, move in with your daughter.